This is me updating.

That is all.

Happy Sara?

(She says "Yes, very.")

So, I'm back from Europe for all those who knew I was going. This was actually a Myspace Bulletin, but I'm really too lazy to rewrite this. Anyway, here's what I learned:

1. Carrying a 60lb suitcase up seven flights of stairs is only slightly less fun than carrying it down.

2. There is a definite art to loading over 90 suitcases into two coaches.

3. Always remember to ask for still water instead of sparkling.

4. DON'T listen to the Bulgarian lady!

5. The British really do know how to que.

6. The dollar is not my friend.

7. Sometimes hostels are the nicest places to stay in.

8. Love thy busdriver, for he'll keep you alive in France where there are no lines on the road, even if he does run into a few parked cars along the way.

9. It's okay to miss taking pictures of an alp. There are tons more where that one came from.

10. If someone comes up to you in France and asks if you speak English, start spouting off German because you'll owe them money if you read the card.

11. No, that isn't a closet, that's the hotel room in Paris.

12. There's no trash in Germany.... but no trash cans either...

13. If you climb up a hill, chances are there's either a church or a castle on top of it.

14. The hill that Neuschwanstein castle is on is very tall.

15. Cars and bikes will hit you if you don't get out of their way.

16. Don't bother with phone cards. When the nice man at the counter tells you 500 minutes for 5 Euros, he really means five minutes tops. Must be the language barrier, huh?

17. You really don't have to take a picture of every sex shop. If you miss one, there's another right around the corner.

18. Spend more time in Salzburg than 13 hours, especially if 9 of those are spent in the hostel.

19. Speaking of, Slovakians are a bit touchy about the whole Hostel thing. Best not to mention it.

20. Hungarian ice cream is amazing. Go for the nutella or the cinnamon.

21. Save money for Slovakia and Hungary. The exchange rates are pretty much fantastic.

22. British Airways is worth every penny. Hell, it's worth switching airlines in JFK if you have to.

23. Americans really are loud and obnoxious compared to other cultures, especially in a group of 90.

24.Try the food no matter what it looks like. It'll be amazing, I swear.

25. Everything looks better at five in the morning.

P.S. Long time no update, huh?

I just bought five CDs and  movie for $33.55.

No joke. It completely made me day. Especially since I've been looking for one of the CDs since before I moved, and it was marked $2.99 but I got it for free because I bought so many. Plus, the movie is Dark City, one of my all time favorites and another rare find in stores.

This is me shamelessly dancing around my room.

Plus, we're finally going to try to make the record players work and I get one in my room AND my dad promised me his Norma Jean and the Blackhearts album to play on said record player.

The year is ending on a decidedly lighter note. Of course, it'll turn slightly sour as I'm doing exactly nothing on New Years Eve. One person movie marathon? Woo.

So. Long time no update, huh?

Not too much to report. Vacation started. Woo.

I started painting again today. I haven't painted on my own in over a year. I felt oddly inspired today. I started one painting that's going to be a gift, and another that's only really in the sketch stage. I'm actually quite excited about the second one. It's kind of about how girls tend to lose ourselves in our boyfriends/girlfriends/significant others. Before anyone gets up in arms, no it's not about anyone in particular, so don't get miffed. It's just something I've been thinking about lately.

They say that space brings clarity. Well, whoever they are, they seem to be quite astute.

I'm fighting with Mommy Dearest again. I don't know why, but I think she'd be even more angry if I asked. 

I never see her, how could I have done something wrong?

Nothing else that's particularly earth shattering to share, at least not anything I really want to share with the general public.

So. Today was an eventful day.

I was bored so I decided to re-arrange my room. Now, the Virginia kids don't know this, but I used to re-arrange my room almost weekly. Remember that?

Anyway, I hadn't done it since I moved, and decided I may as well. It turned out great, by the way.

So while I was moving my bed, this glass jar thing that I apparently forgot to take off of my headboard fell on my head and completely shattered. I didn't quite realize what was happening, but then i felt this trickling on my forehead and looked in the mirror. So when you see movies where there's this one thick trickle of blood running down someone's foreheadwhen they have a cut on their head, yeah, that's really how it happens.

It didn't really hurt much, but my parents were asleep and I didn't really know what to do. I guess I shouldn't have skipped health, huh, Erika? Anyway, I put some alcohol on it, and hopefully it'll be fine?

Who knows.

Mom said I almost needed stitches. Ugh. I hate stitches. 

Anyway, that's my story for today. Exciting.

And the worst day of the year award goes to...

Three weeks.

It's been nearly three weeks. 

What happened to 'give me a week to get back to you'?

Maybe I can't do this after all. Way too much pressure. I can't even sleep anymore. Well, I couldn't before but it's gotten worse. If I'm so freaked out by this, I'd hate to see what I'm like down the road. 

It's not her fault, though. She's busy and she has no idea how it's affecting me. I'm trying my best not to nag. I hate begging for feedback. 

I hope she didn't forget...

I'm so nervous that it's making me sick. 

Sometimes I can't stop shaking. Good thing it's so cold out. People just think I'm shivering, not convulsing. Blessing in disguise I guess.

I keep telling myself, "slow down, girlie, you can always fix it if you fuck it up" but I really can't seem to listen to myself. Of course, it's total bull since you never get a second chance for first impressions. 

I don't care what those inspirational, come-back-from-behind movies say.

You just can't get that wow factor the second time around.

Just three more days. Then it'll be a full week and I can legitimately freak out. Any longer than that and it's one of two things:
a) fantastic
b) not worth a continental (thank you Bailey for that snazzy saying)

Ugh. I've been drifting in and out. Can't seem to focus this week if left to my own devices.

It's been a while since my last update. Sorry. Remember when I used to check in every day? I wish everything would stop spinning so I could go back to that. It's therapeutic and such.

Went to the State Fair with Heather yesterday. 

T'was fantastic. We watched the pig racing, which was so rigged by the way. Who knew people would get that excited about pigs? We had to get there 45 minutes early just to get a seat. No joke.

I rode a mechanical bull too. I lasted for a while, actually, but it was fun. There were a few sketchy guys yelling "ride 'em cowgirl" but I got over it. In hindsight, it was pretty fantastic. The riding, not the sketchy guys. They were... well... sketchy.

Oh. And I got attacked by a rabbit. A little furry albino rodent was seriously going to kill me. I swear, the killer bunny must have reproduced. It was like Seed Of Killer Bunny. I'll make millions off of that movie.

As for today...

My dad forgot to pick me up today. I got a ride with Lindsey around 4:30. I'm seriously going to build a shrine to that girl.

My jaw hurts so bad right now.

Talked today, so life is good.

I also finished the first round of editing. It looks like I might actually finish this one. This is definitely a first. I have an idea for a new one. I'm really excited about it, but seeing as I haven't quite finished the old one completely and all I have for the new one is a concept, I figure I'm better off focusing on the old before the new.

Wow, I just wrote an entire paragraph without actually saying what I'm talking about.

Nice.

I have a new round of tickles in my throat. It won't go away. I hope I can get over this before I lose my voice again. Please? 

Ugh. Rowen has officially commandeered (yes, I spell checked that, I know it looks funny) my bed. Again. Well, the couch is looking better and better by the night.

Yeah, I recycled a Myspace bulletin title, but I liked it and felt like swiping stuff from myself.

So I can almost talk normally now, so I am so going to get revenge for killing Francois for people making fun of me because I sounded like I was dying. Oh yes, there will be blood....

Okay, so maybe the little blond girl can't pull off intimidating and/or maniacal. What else is new?

In other news, Founder's Day is going to be insane. And by insane, of course, I mean busy. I'm going to be doing stuff at the Breast Cancer Awareness booth, SADD booth, and most likely the chess club booth, assuming dear Sparky and his non uterus friends can dream up a clever little fund raiser. So basically if anyone is bored, come bug me at one of those booths, and then you can make up for it by donating money. 

See? It all works out for everyone.

Is anyone else addicted to Dancing with the Stars? Something about seeing Jerry Springer doing the quickstep in a full on 20s getup is fantastic to me.

Maybe it's just the cold medicine.

Went to see The Covenant with Trillian Friday. I must say, it was pretty much a letdown. The idea was a good one, and the whole historical connection bit was pretty clever, but the execution was all wrong. There was almost no character development, very little good dialog, and there was something wrong with the sound feed. 

The character development really got me. I can deal with bad dialog, seeing as most people say pretty lame things, including myself, but the character development is key. Reed, one of the guys with "The Power", was all rebellious in the beginning and refused to listen to Caleb, the self-appointed leader, and all of a sudden Reed is all "Let us help you, Caleb." Then you have the whole Caleb/Kate romance. They literally meet one scene, and he's ready to die for her two scenes later? Come on folks, I don't care if you're short on time, at least put a time lapse in there.

Okay, that was my rant. Maybe my standards are too high when it comes to movies now. Well, whatever. I'm not picky about a lot of things, but movies are one of them.

Weekend was still awesome, though. Trillian and I drove to the Ugly Mug by ourselves after school. I felt all old. It was pretty cool.  

Hey hey. I drove to and from school alone for the first time today. It was really exciting. Though the knowledge that I did it is a hell of a lot better than actually doing it, but whatever. It's all the same in the end.

CD came today. Definite high point there. I had to stop listening to it because I felt the disk and it was crazy hot so I think it might be a good idea to give it a break. Poor thing. I think I might wear this one out.

Tomorrow's going to be amazing. The A Farewell to Arms project is either going to kick or suck. Not quite sure which, but either way it'll get done. But that's not really the point because despite the outcome of the project tomorrow is going to be amazing. End of story.

So. I just have to say this. I tried to stop smiling today. Not smiling when I want to, but smiling when I don't but feel like I should. It didn't really work. It only caused more problems, really. So I'll go back to the smile. I wonder if anyone can tell. I wonder if someone can look at me and think 'Oh, she's a total fraud. She's lying to everyone she sees.' or if I'm actually fooling anyone besides myself. That'd be nice. The second one, of course, but I can't really avoid the first.

They say that if you wear a mask for long enough, you forget what's underneath. I wonder if that's true.

Lame rip off title, I know. Deal with it, kids.

So. I do believe this week needs Midol. It's having rather frequent mood swings. It has it's ups and downs, ins and outs, and it's only Tuesday. Wow. That might have been the dirtiest sentence I've ever unintentionally written. Funny, that.

I bought a CD yesterday that I'm crazy psyched about. It's only slightly less exciting than Erika getting the T-shirt that she might get me. Don't you love the shameless plug, dearest?

Nearly choked at lunch today. Tracy, Heather, and Heather laughed. I could have, you know, died or something. Not sure whether to be amused or miffed about this certain chain of events.

Classes went pretty well. I got three of my four summer reading essays back. I didn't fail anything so definitely dodged a bullet there. I did well, actually. This is me being able to breathe again. 

I haven't been able to shake this feeling since school started that I'm forgetting something. I'm not sure what it is, but it's driving me to an early grave. Just watch it be completely random like highlighters or something. I hope it something stupid, anyway.

School starts tomorrow for the FM kids. Even I'm dreading it, guys, and I've been in school for a week or so already. Old habits die hard, huh? Summer will never end until the Wednesday after Labor Day.

E-mails always get me. How can something as cold as a letter that's never even really been touched by a person hurt so much? It's my own fault. I can choose to open them or not. To reply or ignore them. But I always open them. I always reply. And I always feel sick when I think about the fact that they'll keep coming until I decide to stop writing. All sarcasm aside, I guess it's really true. I am a masochist at heart. It's almost funny. Almost. It is funny that it took something completely unrelated, well not completely, to get me to stop lying to myself. I've gotten way too good at it. 

So I'm really... disappointed. I hate that word, but it fits way too well here. I'm disappointed in a lot of things and people and situations, but mostly myself. So there it is, me. Are you listening to yourself now?

I guess this entry got progressively sadder as I wrote it, sorry about that. Well, just ignore this one if you want. I'd delete it for your sake, but I just needed to write it. It's therapeutic in a way. They should bottle this site and sell it.

I drove by myself for the first time today. It was weird. I expected to feel either completely terrified or completely liberated. It wasn't either, really. There wasn't some huge break-out-the-trumpets change, though I did sort of start laughing hysterically when I got onto the highway without seriously maiming anyone. Does that count?

Anyway, not really much else to report. Wow... that's kinda sad. Oh well.

Went to Lynhaven (sp?) mall today with mommy dearest. We didn't actually wind up buying anything that we needed to, but we had fun. In fact, the only thing I wound up getting was an I Love Lucy lunch box that I fully intend to use for school. It's one of those tin ones that you never see anymore. Yeah It kind of makes me a dork, but it also makes me smile real big, so whatev. Yeah, I put the "whatev" in just for you, Erbear.

Has anyone else started the reading for AP US? My hand hurts like a mother. I have nearly as many pages of notes as pages of text. Oy. I really need to work on that.

School starts Monday. I'm not sure how I feel about this...

Thank. God. That's. Over.

Went to Busch Gardens today with Hermia. T'was fun. It was pouring rain and we did a whole "Singin' in the Rain" bit. We must have looked like drowned rats because we were completely soaked. The rain even soaked through my purse and got to my copy of A Farewell To Arms. Oops.

I felt kind of bad for the eagles. They didn't really move and looked pretty pathetic. It was sort of cute, though. How often do you get to see a wet eagle? And why does that sound dirty?

Anyway, we wound up buying shirts because the ones we were wearing were, well, wet. We both got this long-sleeved Germany shirts and must have looked pretty odd walking around in matching tops. Oh well, it was fun anyway.

We officially have ten days until school. Wahoo?

Today was the one year anniversary of moving here.

One year ago at this very moment I was in my room watching DVDs with Steph on her portable DVD player on the floor in our sleeping bags because the moving truck wasn't meant to come until the next day.

I wasn't quite sure what to do. I had a dentist appointment, and my mom had class. I also watched V For Vendetta and ate sushi with my dad. That was pretty much the extent of the anniversary. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

It's just kind of weird to think that I've been here for a year. Half the time it feels like I just moved, but the other half it feels like I've been here forever. As cheesy as that sounds, it's oddly true. I'm indecisive that way. 

Oh, and I messed around with Myspace for a while. It said I had a new message, but I opened my inbox and nothing was there. Does anyone know how to fix that? Does anyone actually read this? The world may never know...

Shopping with Sara tomorrow. We're setting up our moms so they have a friend. We're like the chicks from The Parent Trap, only we're cooler and, you know, not twins. Oh, and we're not trying to get our moms to marry each other. Okay, that simile worked better in my head. Whatever.

I haven't updated in a while. Sorry to anyone who reads this and thought I died or something. I didn't. I wasn't even seriously maimed or anything. How cool is that?

I had a dream last night that today was the first day of school and I forgot so I was late, and didn't have any supplies or text books so I didn't to my outlines for AP US. Then I was trying to get to bio, which is odd because I'm taking chem next year, and was totally flipping out. Somehow the school also got turned into a conference center with frilly drapes and doilies and all. There was an old lady there who tried to give me directions to the bio room, but she sent me to the cafeteria...

So basically, I just woke up and realized that somehow my entire summer disappeared. Honestly, didn't school let out, like, yesterday? We only have a little over two weeks until junior year, when everything goes to hell. Who's psyched? Yeah, for once that's not me.

In other news, I've gotten semi-addicted to the music channels on my TV as of late. The alternative channel is my new best friend. Sure, they play Green Day and such occasionally, but they definitely won my heart with Cute Is What We Aim For, Rise Against, and Against Me!. Hey, that's almost a palendrome.

I got back from DC last Thursday. It was amazing. End of story. We were only there for a few days but it was honestly one of the best vacations I've ever been on. I also spent almost five hours in the research center at the National Archives. Turns out my mom's family goes back to before 1798 in the US. I actually have to contact someone in Philly to trace it any farther. Plus, my dad's family can be traced back to Thomas Paine. You learn something new every day, huh?

Yeah, I know that it's weird that I spent five hours of my vacation in what is essentially a suped-up library. Yeah, I'm a dork, but that's me.